Recommended Reading About Loss and the Grieving Process
Reading about grief and loss is not necessarily for everyone.  Some people find it to
be very helpful.  If you think you might like this kind of support, here are some
recommended books:  
Necessary Losses, Judith Viorst
Beyond Grief:  A Guide for Recovering from the Death of a Loved One,
  Carol Staudacher
Waking Up Alone:  Grief and Healing, Julie K. Cicero, MSW
Surviving the Death of a Sibling:  Living Through Grief when an Adult Brother  
       or Sister Dies
, T. J. Wong
Living with Grief:  Before and After Death, Kenneth J. Doka

Also, there are a number of recommended children's books about losing a
friend, parent, grandparent, sibling, adult relative, or other adult.  These can
usually be found at larger bookstores and online at Amazon.
Service Checklist
1.  Choose a funeral
director and make basic
arrangements with him or

2.  Decide whether you
wish to have a minister
perform a funeral or
memorial services and
contact the minister.

3.  If possible, get help
from friends or family
members in notifying
others of the death and
the funeral or memorial
service arrangements.

4.  Consider alternative
arrangements if these
work better for you and
others such as having a
small funeral service and
later having a memorial
service involving larger
numbers of people to
commemorate a life
well-lived.  For example,
the family of a deceased
father had a luncheon at a
local country club with
various friends and
family members sharing

5.  Remember to do your
best to care of yourself.  
For example, consider
asking a friend or family
member to spend some
time staying with you
after the services are over
and the others have gone

6.  Remember to take care
of the basics, eat well and

7.  Let others know what
you would prefer.  For
example, you'd like some
company one evening a
week for awhile or you
would like to be invited
over to someone's house
for a meal.  
Basic Differences
Between Services
for Cremation vs.
1.  Usually in a services
for a cremated person,
the ashes are present
although this is not
  Sometimes the body is
prepared for reviewal the
same as for burial, and
loved ones can view the
after which the
cremation is carried out.

2.  Wording may be
slightly different referring
to cremation or burial,
but the meaningful
content is not
appreciably different.

3.  Following the service,
a procession to the
cemetery (if the ashes are
to be buried) will take
place followed by a local
burial with a graveside
service by the minister.  
  If ashes are to be buried
in a cemetery, state law
and cemetery guidelines
will govern the manner in
which that is done.
  Sometimes scattering of
the ashes is carried out,
which could, at the loved
ones' choosing, be private
among family and friends
or involve a service with
a minister.  Often, this is
done some time after the
memorial service/funeral.

4.  Alternatively, the
ashes may be retained
rather than buried or
scattered.  Usually they
are kept in a special
container called an urn.
Reverend Marya O'Malley
Helpful Resources for You

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